Finally got more photos developed – some from this year and last year with mainly the same people in them.

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Fashion Week is over and I’m exhausted. And I don’t even care too much about fashion. The thing is, like everyone else I would always dress somehow, buy things I like and save up to buy even more things I like, but I never cared about the industry at all. I don’t find designers or models particularly glamorous, I never actively cared about trends, fabrics or even quality as I would just naturally go for the cheapest. It has changed a slight bit over the years and that’s clearly something Berlin, growing up and the internet did for me.

After doing the whole round of trade fair madness for the past couple of days, the party atmosphere at Bread & Butter and a more professional vibe at Premium, I made my way down to Toast & Jam on Thursday which had a pretty successful first day, too. Of course I didn’t say no to helping a little with the catwalk show and I always love a bit of stress, so I ended up helping my beautiful model into her vintage secretary outfit within split seconds, only to help her undress again and zip up her original 1950′s dress. It went surprisingly well, considering I normally barely manage to even dress myself. The rest of the time I spent working, looking at clothes and going out.

From a professional point of view, there’s clearly something about it. The rest is overshadowed by the idea of a fake exclusiveness, everyone trying their best to represent this big industry of the rich and beautiful by throwing free cocktails around, goodie bags, shows, music, bigger, better, brighter.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun and I’m grateful, but unimpressed.

I think the true reason we’re so indifferent is that we still wonder how to fit into that whole thing. We grew up learning that consumerism is boring and superficial, we used to be poor students, now we have jobs and we still can’t decide where we belong. We’re downing bottles of Sternburg on the streets and drinking free cocktails with a view over the nightly Berlin, surrounded by Italian fashion people in suits. We’re not hip, we’re not glamorous and decadence doesn’t suit us very well, neither does a plain working life. We’re part of something and part of nothing and as long as it’s fun, I don’t even care.

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Since dedicating myself to this blog again, I’m constantly playing around with it, adding features, changing the looks and working on new ideas. Reading Marcel’s thoughts on WordPress and Tumblr made all kinds of question pop up in my head: Why am I still sticking with my blog system? Out of habit? Because it’s still the best? And what do I really want from it?

At some point, using someone else’s system for content management became inevitable and after some fooling around with Greymatter ages ago (those were the days!) I went for WordPress and never looked back. It provided the engine which I used for my purposes and I added the looks. Coming from a scene where construction kit websites were frowned upon and owning a top level domain made you part of the cool kids , this was quite a big change of paradigm. It’s still somewhere in the back of my head. To this day I’m having a hard time imagining giving away the independence of having more or less full control over my website. Having someone else host and maintain it and solely provide me with a login and template access? It just isn’t the real thing.

I’m going to ignore Blogspot and WordPress.com here, they only provided blogs for everyone, but the rise of platforms like Tumblr is slowly changing the perception of blogging and connecting online. It’s easier to follow websites you want to read – you only need an account and new posts will show up on your dashboard. It’s easier to share and reply, no comments, no via’s, no trackbacks, just one click. It’s easier to publish – you select the type of content, from image to quote or simple text post and upload it. And by publishing all content in one place, your blog becomes a mood board, a mix of micro and macro, of everything that’s you and the perfect representation of yourself online. Actually, this is all we ever wanted. We were just lacking the possibilities back then.

This has been one of many ideas I had in mind when I created this theme a while ago. My main aim was to keep the layout as simple as possible, yet leave an option to at least distinguish between three different types of posts: regular text or image posts, quotes and status updates. In times of Twitter and Facebook the status update feature might seem redundant, but I like covering everything with my blog and being able to read it as one coherent piece later. I guess it’s that “mood board” aspect that has been fascinating me for a while now.

For now, I am going to stick with what I have, knowing that I am not dependent on any system and that there’s no need to give anything away if I don’t want to. I don’t use WordPress because I can’t build a website, I use it to help me manage one and it’s doing a great job. External platforms are not only adding new possibilities, they also take away a lot of effort we used to put into our websites. We develop new technologies and amputate ourselves at the same time (hello McLuhan!) – a blessing and a curse, if you will.

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A quick life update, and again, I’m in bed. A few days ago my right ear stopped working properly and it turned out there’s fluid behind my eardrum and I will have to have it cut open in a minor operation to be able to hear properly again. Being German I shouldn’t complain about the healthcare system but finding a doctor was kind of a nightmare, having my insurance cover the whole thing another one and besides the fact I can’t work and concentrate and now have a shitload of work to catch up with, I am on antibiotics, drowsy, nauseous and just generally annoyed. The other day I was joking about it being yet another cheesy life lesson, something like “Don’t ever take your senses for granted.” and to whoever thought I had to learn this lesson, trust me, I have.

In other news, Fashion Week is coming up again next week, and even though I don’t care too much about the actual fashion or the runway shows, I guess it should be fun. Ridiculously overdressed people all over the city, desperately hoping to get their photo taken by as many street style blogs as possible, people fighting over dead-ugly brand tote bags at Bread & Butter and the like, free food and drinks everywhere, random events, fairs and parties… And a nice change of scenery and routines for me, especially after a weekend like this one which I’m going to spend at home with the company of nose spray, antibiotics and my bed.

What a great photo set – David Bowie doing normal things like riding the subway, eating or making instant coffee. I don’t usually do those “Happy Birthday [insert inspirational celebrity here]!” posts but oh well, happy belated birthday, David Bowie! (via)

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It’s a Sunday night and I’m sitting downstairs at the Chinese & Thai takeway, wearing a combination of ridiculous fake leather leggins and white trainers, the first and and most comfortable clothes I could find. I’m waiting for my food and staring at the pastel-coloured neon signs with badly photoshopped images of the different dishes. It’s the best you can get on a Sunday around here if you want to keep the walking distance to a minimum. The guy prepares my food, he’s singing a song in a language I don’t understand and I sip on an artificially red softdrink. I think the guy’s actually Vietnamese.

It reminds me of that short story by Wladimir Kaminer where he’s out on a mission on the streets of Berlin to find out where the people who run the restaurants and takeaways are really from, and finds out the people from the kebab shop are actually Greek and the Greek restaurant is run by Yugoslavs. Or something like that. They’ve simply realised that the Germans don’t seem to notice a difference anyway, as long as the place looks authentic enough and the music is right so they decided to make a profit from it.

I eat my dinner upstairs in the flat, rice and duck and some coconut milk sauce with vegetables, by far the best you can get on a Sunday. I scoff the food wile sitting on my bed, thinking about life and staring into space. I’ve been back here for over a week now and I don’t feel like I’ve ever left the city. I’m too exhausted to make big changes and I wonder if it’s weird that sometimes I just want to switch off and not live but only exist for a while.

I‘m really bad at catching up with all the new flatmates but after some moving in and moving out over the past couple of months I thought I’d do a litte update on my current flatmate situation. I already mentioned Michi a while ago, I’m still not over the fact we probably knew eachother over the internet when we were like fourteen and I might do a post on him, too, if he allows me to. But for now, meet the new girl, Irina. She’s American with Kazakh roots which makes our flat so much more international again. We share a love for nights out and gay clubs, she owns some of the coolest collections I’ve seen in a long time and she’s also doing some pretty amazing art (my favourite is clearly the orgy series!). Hello Irina!

(via)

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You’re probably sick of reading about the best music of 2011 already but I got so inspired by Sara and decided to do yet another post which turned out a lot bigger than I’d originally planned. To be honest, this year I mostly kept losing track of new music. I was incredibly slow and uninformed, didn’t have enough patience to listen to all the new songs and on top of it all there weren’t any releases that totally blew my mind – or maybe I just didn’t let them grow on me. However, here’s my selection of 100 songs from the past year.

Disclaimer: I found it incredibly hard to remember which records actually came out this year so I had to trust Google and Wikipedia with it, and if a song is included in my list it means the record it is on came out in 2011 (even though the song might have been released earlier). And of course these tracks are not necessarily my all time favourite songs ever, I mean, it’s one hundred songs, but I tried to put together a nice compilation.

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Where did you beging 2011? In front of some random person’s house somewhere around Tempelhof with friends and fireworks. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before? I got another tattoo in a very visible place, went on a Beer Bike, finally did the Teufelsberg excursion and I guess quite a few other things that I don’t remember. I’m not that boring. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions and will you make more for next year? I didn’t have any, like last year, so there was nothing to keep. I won’t make any new ones, either. Were you in school anytime this year? No, I got the results of my Bachelor thesis and my BA degree at some point in spring so I’m done for now. Did anyone close to you give birth? No. Did anyone close to you die? No. What countries did you visit? England in the summer. How did you earn money? I still worked in my retail job in  January and then started my new sales and marketing job in March which is my main source of income. I’m also doing a bit of freelance web design work at the moment. Where did most of your money go? Food & drink, clothes, shoes and to my savings account. Did you have any encounters with the police? A neighbour called the police when we had our Halloween party – they were pretty relaxed, though. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011? A free mind and the ability to simply enjoy myself, regardless of external circumstances. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? 11.11.11., for obvious reasons. And I’m originally from Cologne so it’s a pretty important date for the carnival, too. What was your biggest achievement of the year? My BA degree and my current job in terms of education and my career, I’ve also been even more independent and learned to say no more often. What was your biggest failure? I’ve had some bad days of course that made me feel like the biggest failure on the planet, not even for any specific reasons. Where did you go on holidays? I spent around two weeks at my parents’ place near Cologne in February to relax and recharge my batteries, I went to London in July to visit friends and now I’m back in the West for Christmas and New Year’s. What was the best thing you bought? My favourite leather jacket, OSX Lion, this perfume, these shoes, and these & various gig and flight tickets. What did you get really, really excited about? I always get excited about going away. Did you move anywhere? Not this year, no. I’ve been living in my flat for 15 months now. Where do you live now? Germany, Berlin, Neukölln. What songs will always remind you of 2011? David Bowie – We Are The Dead, Frank Turner – I Am Disappeared, Solomun – The Way Back. What do you wish you’d done more of? Listening to what I really want and doing things I actually enjoy. What do you wish you’d done less of? Feeling miserable. How did you spend Christmas? Like every year, with my parents, my brother and my grandparents, church, presents, dinner, cookies, sleep. What did you get for Christmas? Bedclothes and sheets, a towel, tea, money and a lot of candy. Where are you spending New Year’s? In Cologne, I guess, or at least in the area. Did you fall in love in 2011? No. How many one-night stands? I don’t kiss and tell. What was your favourite TV program? I don’t have a TV anymore but I’ve watched Tatort religiously. What books did you read? The ones I remember are Tony O’Neill – Sick City and Irvine Welsh – If You Liked School You’ll Love Work. What was your favourite film of this year? I don’t recall watching any new films except for the weekly Tatort. What did you want and get? A new tattoo on my forearm and a new job. What did you want and not get? Satisfaction. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you? I turned 22 this year and I went out with friends the night before for a drink, had cake in the office and a quiet night at home with a nice dinner. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011? Lots of black, as always, fringe leather jackets, high wedge heels, sheer blouses, tights, dark makeup and straight hair. It’s not exactly a concept, though. What kept you sane? Working. What concerts and shows did you go to? Over 30 in total, the best ones being Frank Turner @ White Trash, Patrick Wolf @ Lido, Deichkind @ Bread & Butter and Primal Scream @ Berlin Festival. What political issues stirred you the most? The Berlin elections in September. What has been your favourite moment? This is hard, I don’t think I’ve had one favourite moment – maybe the moments that I actually felt good and when I made plans and got excited about them. Favourite night out? There have been some good ones, no doubt. Tell us a valuable life lesson your learned in 2011. Don’t get involved too much, sometimes it’s better to keep quiet and don’t say anything. Don’t trust anyone, life is weird sometimes and takes even weirder turns. What’s something you learned about yourself? I ultimately learned it doesn’t matter where I am, I will always be myself and this shouldn’t upset me too much, in the end it’s ok and it won’t help to run away. What lyrics sum up your year of 2011? “She woke up screaming in the middle of the night, terrified of her own insides, dreams of pirate ships and Patty Hearst breaking through a life over rehearsed, she can’t remember which came first, the house, the home or the terrible thirst, she keeps having dreams. And on the worst days when it feels like life weighs ten thousand tonnes, she’s got her cowboy boots and car keys on the bed stand so she can always run.”