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I’m back from Amsterdam and the few days felt like a movie. You know the feeling when you experience things and all of a sudden you realise that it’s so amazing, yet very cliché and just like one of these film scenes that are totally fascinating but still seem pretty unreal, simply because they’re so brilliant and cool? I’ve probably said that before but I think that might even be the point when you actually start living.

Anyway, I stayed in a nice house with my Dutch friends and a three guys and two girls from Slovenia who came over for New Year’s as well and were a pretty cool bunch of people. On New Years Eve we first hung out at our place drinking and playing silly games and I ate my very first oliebollen (Ima: “You have to eat it, otherwise you’ll have a bad 2010!”), it’s some Dutch speciality and it actually tasted pretty nice.

Shortly before midnight we went to a private house party on the other side of the road, it took place in a big building, a former squat and now gallery or something. The best part of it was that it had a roof terrace from where you had a 360° view over Amsterdam. It was amazing. We went upstairs and watched the fireworks while a band was playing on the roof. The fireworks, the people, the music, the atmosphere, it just blew me away.

We stayed up all night, it was great. Not such a bad start into 2010 and quite promising actually.

Frank Turner, Monopoly with friends in Berlin, Christmas with the family & Amsterdam with the Dutch and the Slovenians.

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A new year means as much to me as my own birthday (practically nothing) but then again, it’s a nice frame for a part of your life and a good opportunity to start things. I always need events to change things. Or at least try to. I’m not saying I constantly make changes, it’s so hard to change things about yourself, even if you want to, but having an event makes it easier. Next year everything will get better - I keep saying that to myself all the time.

I spent New Year’s 2007/2008 in London, we stayed with a friend and went out in Shoreditch that night, missed midnight and saw no fireworks so we went home and joined the house party. 2008/2009 I was at home in Cologne. I had just moved houses and I was pretty down and depressed that day so I was planning on staying in. Friends eventually convinced me to come to theirs where we had sparkling wine and German New Year’s Eve traditions, we later went to a club and it turned out to be a pretty strange night out. At least we had fireworks.

This year I will go to Amsterdam, hang out with our Dutch people, relax, have fun and just let everything pass. Even the new year. It’s two thousand and ten already and it feels weird, I still remember the “Millenium” ten years ago - people wearing funny 2000 glasses and Robbie Williams singing on TV. Now another decade has passed.
Fucking hell.

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Bold all the things you’ve done in 2009. Did something you said you would never do. Paid for someone who said they would pay you back but never did. Lied about where you were. Discovered a new musician. Made something for a friend. Got a new phone. Got a new iPod/Zune/Mp3 player. Watched three or more episodes of Saturday Night Live. Made fun of someone. Created a Tumblr. Flew on a plane for the first time. Spoke in front of 15 people or more. Met someone in real life that you originally met online. Done something illegal. Did your siblings chores for money. Stayed up all night thinking about the worst thing that could possibly happen to later find out that you worried for nothing. Hurt somebody you didn’t mean to hurt. Hugged your mom or dad. Baked a cake. Made a new friend. Lost an old friend. Changed your views on society. Laughed at something that wasn’t funny. Got upset over something that wasn’t a big deal. Had a horrible birthday. Got a Facebook. Deleted your Myspace. Cried because you missed old times. Cleaned your room. Have a new found appreciation for someone you never expected to. Told someone you love them. Told someone you hate them. Screwed something up but didn’t mean to. Received a gift. Gave a gift. Read a book that wasn’t for school. Ate a lollipop. Threw away something by accident. Ran a mile. Switched schools. Aced a test. Wished you were in the past. Got scared about the future. Got yelled at by your parents. Lost a family member. Saw an old friend. Went to church. Hugged a stuffed animal. Said you’re going to make next year better.

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Bold the things you want to happen in 2010. Get a new phone. Get addicted to Tumblr. Get a new laptop. Eat more chocolate. Perform onstage during prom night. Be a better person. Scream “Ron Weasley is the king of the world!” in a crowd. A more peaceful world. Do fun stuffs like kiss random guys/girls. Get new sexy red hot bra and panty. Help mum with housework. Complete homework before due date. Be nice to teachers. Dump current boyfriend/girlfriend. Get a new boyfriend/girlfriend. Be on TV. Get over Edward Cullen. Avoid scribbling stuffs in public toilet. Throw away all pink stuffs. Hang out more with best friends. Watch old movies. Get tickets to concerts for best friends. Eat healthily. Learn how to cook. Get a new crush. Write a love poem. Buy a guitar. Compose a song for your crush. Study Maths and be good at it. Save electricity. Get a new pet. Think about the future. Save cash. Plant more trees. Be the first one to know about all the juicy gossips. Get a new hairstyle. Go vegetarian. Learn a new Italian recipe. Exercise! Fall in love with someone older. Dress like a rockstar on birthdays. Be a cheerleader. Book a ticket and fly somewhere. Write a fictional story. Appreciate all the crazy things around you.

My brother got some new disco light machines for Christmas so we spent the rest of the night experimenting.

As a little Christmas treat Franzi and me re-launched THE HEADHOOPS today! We have a new layout, tidied the website up a bit, there are new features, new articles and there’s a lot of stuff to come.

Check it out & let us know what you think. Merry Christmas everyone!

Read on…

It’s Christmas and I will take some time off and see my family in the city they live in. I kinda refuse to call it home cause in fact it isn’t my home. It’s been for seventeen years but it’s not anymore, it’s merely the city I grew up in. It’s a nice place, I’d come back when I’m old and raise my children there, just to make sure they neither turn out as spoilt city kids, nor shy countryside children. But it is, however, not less pathetic than any other suburb.

I’m going to spend Christmas with my parents, brother and grandparents on my mother’s side who are the only people I’d ever call family. And I guess we’re just like you: tree, food, presents. We even go to church, though I believe it just became some kind of routine as our kindergarten always did the nativity play there. First it was me on stage, then my brother and in the end we just kept going every year. Protestants are very open-minded, everyone’s free to join them if they like and free to leave it if they’ve got something better to do.

My parents live in a new house, I’d call it big although it’s probably very tiny to normal people’s standards. It’s in the same area, about ten minutes walk from their old flat. I often dream about our old flat, I’ve spent about twelve years of my life there, moved out in a hurry, returned a few times and never came back. I don’t know what happened to it, I’ve heard the guy who owns it now teared down most of the walls and made it three big rooms. I dream about it a lot, it haunts me sometimes and it’s probably a sign I miss it more than I’d admit and that it unsettles me not having a place I can come back to, a place that reminds me of my childhood.

Christmas is weird. I love the atmosphere, the christmassy mood, I’ve always loved it although I’ve never been much of a family person. I loved the trees, the lights, making presents. Getting up early the next morning, eating chocolate and playing with my new things. But it changed. I’ve changed. I’m scared of good moments because I can’t grasp them and make them last forever. I’m afraid of owning things because it feels like a burden and the idea of possession drives me insane. This year I just want to sit back, observe it, inhale it, make it last.  Only this one time, let Christmas be what it used to be. I’m looking forward to it.

Berlin, November. Sina had her Action Sampler Lomo camera with her and I felt weird and was tired as fuck the last morning.