It’s autumn again and the settings are all the same. I’ve been living here for two years now, the same street, the same house, the same room and for once I don’t even feel like leaving. I like this place, I like the cold mornings, the smell of strong coffee and the last warm sunbeams of the year. I booked my flights for christmas the other day and it’s weird to think about it. I’m leaving Berlin for about 12 days again and I can’t wait. Again.
Somewhere between sleeping all day and being more active than ever, like the weather, it feels weird not having a daily routine anymore, it makes me feel lost and useless. It makes me think I will never be able to properly be free, simply because I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. All I can do is distract myself. I have no hobbies and ambitions, I’m just there, yet I’m enjoying the freedom of not having to do anything. Who cares anyway? It’s summer but I don’t feel like jumping around in the sun listening to reggae music. I started to like the rain, watching thunderstorms from a window by the river. Biking home at five in the morning in the heaviest rain ever, being absolutely soaked to a point where I simply stop caring. Getting home to a cold bath and staying underwater for hours. Things like that.
I must admit I almost forgot about this since it feels like ages ago but one night in March I went out to a party and met some friends of friends who invited me to a video shoot. The conversation went something like this: “It’s for some guy, apparently he’s famous, but no clue who he is, wait, I’m gonna ask…” - “You know Calvin Harris?” – “Dude, what?!” I really liked his first record before he became the new David Guetta, I remember seing him in a tiny venue in Groningen years ago and God knows why he decided to go for this cheesy stadium house music.
The video It was filmed in the early afternoon in a basement bar, we didn’t know what to expect but soon we all had drinks in our hands, a band was playing and all we had to do is act natural: dance, jump around , sit in a corner and drink. It was pretty surreal but fun. You can’t really see me in the video, though, maybe for one millisecond somewhere in the back, I’m not quite sure, but you might recognise some other familiar faces and places of the city.